Home for Christmas...thank God!

Time to go home and reflect on how I'm doing. Country-side, here I come!

Picked Up.

So it was funny...

I saw one of my students this morning walking downtown towards the bus stop. It was 8:00 AM by this time. I was like, "WTF! He's suppose to be at school!" As he was crossing the crosswalk, literally walking in front of my car, I screamed out window, "Get in here!" He was going to be late to school because he was going towards Lexington Market to get some food for him and friends to eat at school before getting to school. Oh man, it was strange. Of course I gave him the teacher scold for him of going to school on time. Personally, if I wasn't a teacher, I wouldn't care. I was actually laughing inside. Hey, these are my kids from Baltimore. What other city can allow you the joys of seeing your students walking in the morning and then eventually picking him up to school? "Oh Baltimore."

My Kids

Wow, it's amazing how comfortable my kids are talking about their problems.

Student: Yeah my father died a couple days ago, Mr Tsai, how you doing today?
Me: Good, sorry to hear about your father.
Student: Thanks Mr Tsai, [merrily walks away].

Student: My brother got killed because gangs thought he was snitching.
Me: Wow really?! What happened?
Student: They thought he was snitching, they ganged up on him, and shot him once. He fell on the ground then shot him again while on the ground.
Me: Are you okay? How long ago was this?
Student: 2 years ago.
Me: You sad about it? I'd still be sad
Student: Yeah, I mean, I'm fine [perfectly fine, no remorse]
Me: (thinking, this is crazy)

How unfair

• How unfair is it that a teacher like myself comes into an urban school, where great kids have the most potential, and that I'm the only one that wants to teach them?
• How unfair is it that the one of the avenues for them to get out of their undeserving situations at home is through a poorly structure education system?
• How unfair is it that I push myself so much that my kids still don't get all that they deserve?
• How unfair is it that people are entirely afraid to teach in an urban city just because they fear the potential safety concerns, when all the kids want is your attention?

These, among other questions, are the question I go through each day after I teach in school. It's such a shame that teachers like myself who really want to teach in an urban school are going through the pits of hell all because no one else really dares to step into these territories that teachers in Baltimore City step in.

At this point, like many first year teachers, we all feel inadequate. But who else are to teach these children? People may judge the qualifications of Teach for America Corps members, but I dare say that those who are judging are making the preconcieved notion that experienced teachers all want to teach in urban schools. No one else but TFA corps members and other programs want to teach in these areas because it is hard.

No one realizes that not only we do deal with the challeges of behavior problems, but we also deal with the challenges of late night planning, extended hours at home and school just to plan for our lessons the next day, unorganized materials and supplies. All this city needs is structure to it.

More money is spent on education in Baltimore City than suburban county schools. That begs the question, where is the leadership and infostructure to allocate the money properly? Where are the leaders to help organize urban schools.

After teaching for a mere 3 months, I can already see how a school district at the highest level of administration can definitely make a different in these schools. If you were to take all the leadership out of a school district, students in these schools would be running aimlessly as it is already.

there's so much to say, so little time to say. I have to get back to planning for all 3 of my classes. I teach 5 classes a day. 2 chemistry, 2 environmental science and 1 reading class. Yes, I am unqualified to teach a reading class. That is the nature of this job. Schools often do not have enough money to higher enough teachers so it is teachers like myself who want/handle the extra load. It's not like really want to handle the load. The less, the better, but at the same time, who else will teach these kids reading when no one else can or is already bogged down with 5 other classes to teach.

I'm so frustrated at the system. I'm so frustrated with my situation. There are days I want to quit. I spend late nights (till 2 aM) planning. I wake up at 5-6 AM daily. I get a max of 5 hours of sleep each night. Who says teaching is an easy job? I DARE someone say to me, "But you're teaching, how hard is that?!" Ha! if one only knew. I have respect for the most talented teachers out there who can handle this amount of work. Maybe suburban schools have it different. I have yet to sit down and compare the difference, though I have observed a suburban school in Oklahoma. Lets just say less problems happen in suburban schools than urban and rural schools.


Now I"m ranting. Time to head out. As my students likes to say in agreement, "Mr. Tsai, I gotch ya!"

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