Racial border line?

So, just to show you how some kids can be ignorant (as many kids can be in general)....today was the first day I that the whole, "Ching, chang, chong..." thing really bothered me. Yah know, how kids try to say some dumb shit when they want to act Chinese. I had to write the kid(s) a referral. It set the whole mood of the class off. Kids didn't learn. I was pissed off when I was teaching. Of course the kids don't think anything of it because they're, well, kids. How do you teach cultural diversity to urban kids? I had to say in class, "Sorry for the interruption for some ignorance in the class" in a very mocking tone.

Baltimore kids...you would think after 15 years of TFA teachers, the kids would get better. Apparently not.

And it's only Tuesday....someone please console me.

Almost done

Listen, so it's not like I don't believe in what I'm doing, because I do. It's the frustration that comes with it. It's the severe doubt from your students. It's the constant lack of total respect from your students that gets to teachers in Baltimore. I'm not only speaking for myself. Look, when you get so many "Fuck you!" only because a student can't sit in his seat or stop talking after applying some kind of threat...that's when this gets tiring. And when the student's lack accountability because they're, of course, NEVER at fault for anything that's when you begin to think, "seriously, who do these kids think they are?" And often times, especially since it's nearing the end of the year and they always ask me for a pencil, that's when I think, "Has anything gotten through to them? They need to be responsible for their own things!?" It seems as though I need to be teaching social skills more so than Chemistry or Environmental Science.

I guess teaching really is a thankless job. These kids have no idea what we do to plan these lessons for them, even though some of them may be boring for them. If only I could fast forward their lives to show them what an education can do for them, maybe things would turn around.

Teaching is great, I don't mind it at all. In fact, this challenge of teaching in an urban area, especially in Baltimore has really thickened my backbone. But sometimes, I wonder...how much of an impact am I really making?

So tired.

Oh man. The kids hate me. Apparently I'm always the topic of conversation among the kids. It's getting malicious. It's the 9th grade girls who just can't act normal anyways. Not like this is an excuse or anything but they're the lowest tracked kids.

Do I suck?

Am I a bad teacher? I dunno, I think I am...so...whatever. My kids hate me.