Listen, so it's not like I don't believe in what I'm doing, because I do. It's the frustration that comes with it. It's the severe doubt from your students. It's the constant lack of total respect from your students that gets to teachers in Baltimore. I'm not only speaking for myself. Look, when you get so many "Fuck you!" only because a student can't sit in his seat or stop talking after applying some kind of threat...that's when this gets tiring. And when the student's lack accountability because they're, of course, NEVER at fault for anything that's when you begin to think, "seriously, who do these kids think they are?" And often times, especially since it's nearing the end of the year and they always ask me for a pencil, that's when I think, "Has anything gotten through to them? They need to be responsible for their own things!?" It seems as though I need to be teaching social skills more so than Chemistry or Environmental Science.
I guess teaching really is a thankless job. These kids have no idea what we do to plan these lessons for them, even though some of them may be boring for them. If only I could fast forward their lives to show them what an education can do for them, maybe things would turn around.
Teaching is great, I don't mind it at all. In fact, this challenge of teaching in an urban area, especially in Baltimore has really thickened my backbone. But sometimes, I wonder...how much of an impact am I really making?
1 comment:
More than you know. On days when I get frustrated I reflect back on how my parents must have felt when I was growing up. There were so many times I gave them attitude, screamed 'I HATE YOU!', swore I was never coming home again (and that was when I was an 'adult'!). But bottom line I always knew and appreciated what they did for me I just didn't know how to show it. Our kids are the same way. At the most surprising moment you'll get a letter or a picture they drew for you that will give you a glimpse of how they REALLY feel. Those are the things they can't show easily in front of a class full of 20 other students, so we rarely ever see them. But if you haven't already, you will eventually see some of it.
And if you don't, employ the use of 'admit slips' in your room. Silent forced writing for 10 minutes where they can't stop. They have to keep writing no matter what (you can give them a prompt or not), just whatever pops into their head. They've grown to like it and I LOVE reading them... you'd be surprised at what's really going on in their heads... And if you take good quotes from them and hang them on the walls (with no names) they feel famous :)
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